I’d almost make the argument that the thing that makes the most sense about depression is that it doesn’t make any sense at all.
Understand that this is just my perspective, but hear me out on this one. Depression, anxiety, mental illness, the works, they make no damn sense. I mean, isn’t one of the things that makes us human the ability to control our own thoughts and act independently? “I think, therefore, I am?” and all that?
Which is why having a mind that works against you so darn frustrating.
Call me crazy here…okay, don’t, I do that enough on my own…but I think that one of the reasons that depression is so frustrating, confusing and mystifying is that it goes against the very thing that makes us human: Our ability to think. Humans are fundamentally logical and emotional creatures, right? I firmly believe that there is a piece of our own minds will always believe that it is in control.
Of course, that isn’t the case.
Even now, even as someone who has been living with depression for years and doing so in a very public forum – it still makes no sense to me. How is it that people who are so successful, loved and popular can still suffer so? And I ask myself this question despite the fact that I am someone who has depression.
So, that brings me back to the crux of this blog entry: Why I think that talking about depression/mental illness in an open, honest and public manner helps, and why I always encourage others to do the same.
I think it helps us make sense.
I firmly believe that the idea that we aren’t in complete control of our emotions and thoughts is a truly alien one, something that most of us struggle with on some base level. To that extent, I think that talking about mental illness helps. It helps us process what’s going on in our brain and make sense of the thoughts and feelings that we are experiencing.
I obviously don’t have all the answers to mental illness – if I did, I’d be a lot richer, and at least a little bit happier. But I would suggest this: If you are one of the people suffering in silence, do what you can to change that perspective. Talk about it. You may not have access to a supportive network of family or friends, but I think you’d be surprised at the amount of online support groups that you can participate in – anonymously or not. Even the act of sitting there, and formulating your feelings, can help process your emotions and make a positive difference in your life.
And, on a personal note: I’ve found that this blog has helped my advocacy tremendously, and not just because it gives someone else a chance to read my thoughts. By putting “pen to paper,” so to speak, it gives me a chance to organize my thoughts, examine my feelings and reevaluate the way I handle my own recovery. It’s also helped me to rethink some of my public advocacy, in particular the portions related to stigma – it’s not just stigma that matters, but self-stigma.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Am I onto something here? Let us know in the comments, and have a wonderful day!