Tag: instagram

How can you make social media good for your teen?

Many of you may have seen the report two weeks ago, and it was pretty damning: According to their own research, Facebook became aware that Instagram is bad for the mental health of their teenage users – and particularly teenage girls – and has done nothing about it. Facebook has denied that this is the case, but the allegation certainly lines up with other research, which has shown that Instagram may be the worst social network when it comes to self-esteem, body image, and mental health.

None of this should shock anyone who pays attention to the interaction of social networking and mental illness. Indeed, research has shown that Instagram negatively impacts depression, anxiety, self esteem, bullying, body image, and more. No one who has paid attention to these areas should be surprised by this. 

I type this one as someone who pays attention both to mental health and as a parent of a ten and eight year old who have their own “phones” (old hand-me-downs that only work in the house). My kids use Facebook messenger, and my wife and I obviously stay on top of it, managing who they talk to and how often they use their phones. That won’t be that way forever though. One day, they are gonna have Instagram and Facebook profile and who knows what else. Social media is far too ingrained in our society for banning our kids to be an option. I don’t think that’s realistic.

But…what can parents do? How can we manage our kid social media use and try to start the conversation early?

A few thoughts.

Start the conversation about what social media really is when they are young

If your kids are like mine, odds are that they have seen you use social media at some point, or at least seen you scrolling through your phone and make a post. As soon as they can comprehend it, explain what social media is, but do so honestly: Explain its benefits, the reasons you use it – but also its downfalls. Set that stage early: Tell your kids that people use social media to post a polished, curated version of your life. This helps them understand what social media is, and what it isn’t.

As an aside, don’t use social media that way. Show your flaws, warts and all. People appreciate a real version of you much more than an air-brushed one.

And, one more aside: When your kids get old enough, ask their permission before making a post with them in it. I always do.

Create expectations of parental engagement

Make sure that your kids know – particularly when they are young – that you will have access to their social media and to what they use it for. When they are really little, you may have access to their conversations or the media that they send to each other (I have that for my kids who use Messenger). Obviously, you respect their privacy more and more as they get older but make sure your kids know that you will watch their social media use – and provide guidance/answer questions accordingly. Don’t do it from a “big brother” perspective. Do it from the perspective of making sure you can provide guidance and answer important questions for your kids. 

Encourage real world relationships

Look, social media is great and all, but at the end of the day, all of us – our kids and ourselves – need to get the hell outside. Encourage your kids to look at social media for what it should be: A supplement to their real-world activities. A compliment. Not a substitution. Don’t let them just stare at their phones. Make them get out and interact in the real world. 

Talk about their feelings and encourage them to think about them

Social media use may be inevitable, but healthy social media use is still possible. Encourage your kids to be emotionally reflective as they use social media. Ask them how their social media use makes them feel, and have them challenge themselves about why they feel a certain way, while also being open to having a conversation with them about their feelings. This encourages self-reflection, and if approached right, may encourage a teen to moderate their own behavior or relationships. FOMO – fear of missing out – can be defeated with a conversation. Fear of not looking a certain way on Instagram can be knocked down by a reminder about filters. 

Anyway, those are my thoughts – as always, I defer to you! What am I missing? What else should we be talking about with our kids? Let me know in the comments!

Does social media cause depression?

Despite being a complete social media addict (sigh), I’ve written repeatedly about the negative impacts that social media can have on your mental health. However, one of the key, unanswered questions has always been this: Is the relationship casual? That is, does social media use cause loneliness, does loneliness cause an increase in social media use, or is a third item related to both?

New research indicates that the relationship IS casual: Social media use does, in fact, make you more lonely.

This comes from a new study, courtesy of Melissa Hunt, the associate director of clinical training at the University of Pennsylvania’s Psychology Department.

In her study, Hunt took two groups of college students. In the first, students were asked to use social media as they usually did (about an hour a day). The second group was asked to limit it’s social media use to ten minutes per site.

The results, per Hunt: “The main finding of the paper is that limiting your use of Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram to 30 minutes total or less per day results in reductions in depression and loneliness, especially for people who were moderately depressed to start with.”

Yikes.

Yikes yikes yikes.

This is the first study, to my knowledge, which directly shows that social media is a CAUSE of depression, not just correlated with it. However, I can’t say I’m particularly surprised by this. We know that excessive use of social media can create a variety of negative impacts on someone’s life, including cyberbullying, negative body image and more. However, this is the first time that there has been a direct casual link established between depression and social media.

What do we do? Well, that’s easy: Use social media less. Seriously. It’s good for you to do that anyway, even if this study isn’t accurate (though I intuitively think it is).

More research is needed, but I firmly believe that this study will be the first of many, many which show the devastating impacts which social media is having on our society and our culture. And it’s hard for me to say: Like many of you, I find myself completely addicted to social media. But it’s an addiction which needs to break.

 

A presentation: Social Media & Depression

I had the pleasure of giving a presentation on Social Media & Depression for the Interlace Cultural y Desarollo Integral Mexicano de Lehigh Valley, a Mexican cultural group in my hometown. In the presentation, I talk about the frighteningly strong connections between Social Media & Depression.

The actual presentation is below. But here are the highlights:

  • As you can imagine, social media and teenagers and incredibly linked.
  • The networks that teenagers use are constantly changing, but at the moment, Snapchat and Instagram are the preferred networks.
  • The Hispanic community, as a whole, is overrepresentated on social media compared to other demographics.
  • Social media does make people depressed and social media use is correlated with higher levels of depression.
  • Social media depression can be combated by a change of mindset and by primarily remembering this: Social media is not the real world.

The Mental Health Danger of Instagram

I’m a weeeeeeee bit obsessed with social media – though I like to think I don’t let it distract from my life too much – but that’s another story.  Anyway, I’m an old fart when it comes to this universe (at 34, I’m practically ancient), and my social media activity has been primarily confined to Facebook and Twitter.  Recently, I finally surrendered and started using Instagram more.  I’m enjoying it – and I hope I’m able to keep it in perspective.

I think there is a huge danger with Instagram: If you lose sight of what it really means, it can be really bad for your mental health.  I’ve written before about how dangerous social media can be for your mental health, but Instagram is the absolute worst.  That’s because it forces you to make unrealistic comparisons about your life to others, provides a mere allusion of connectivity (it’s no substitute for the real thing) and can make people feel more depressed.

Almost immediately, I found myself falling into this trap.  The recent pictures I uploaded: Me at work in Harrisburg, a awesome ice cream sundae, my son and my dog, etc.  Don’t I just have the perfect life? Things not uploaded: Me getting very upset about recent allegations of rape against a colleague.  My living room being so messy that I thought a small bomb of dog fur and toys had exploded in it.  Me wondering how on earth I would ever pay off my college loans.

And that, in a nutshell, is exactly the problem with social media.  I’m very lucky – I have a wonderful life – but it’s not without its problems.  And, if you believe most people’s social media, you would be convinced that everyone else is having more fun, success, happiness and love than you.  That’s because all of us forget this fundamental truth: Just about everyone uses social media to highlight the best in their life, not the worst.

Despite it, I do love social media.  It gives me a chance to communicate with people who I love – and, in my case, who I represent – about what is happening in my life.  I’d encourage everyone who uses social media actively to remember this critical fact: It’s not reality, just a highly curated version of it.  Everyone uses it to show off the best, ideal version of themselves.  Instagram is particularly dangerous at this because we all love pretty pictures and soft filters that make it seem like our lives are perfect.

If you can keep this in mind when you use social media, you’ll be okay.

How to look at social media and not want to throw your phone out a window

As I’ve written before, social media can be really, really, really bad for your mental health.  This is for a variety of reasons, including:

  • It inspires unrealistic comparisons between yourself and others.
  • It creates unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of how someone should be living their life.
  • It can lead to increased feelings of isolation.
  • It can inspire jealousy.

All of this, and more, are why I am going to be paying particular attention to research and experiences as they pertain to social media and mental health.  I swear, it’s almost like we need a primer on how to teach people to use social media at this point.  I’m looking at my kids – they are 6 and almost 5 – and terrified of the day that I will have to relent, give them a phone, and allow them to be exposed to the world that isn’t real.

Let me go back to what I just said: A primer.  Seriously, we need that when we go on social media!  The world that appears in our newsfeed can be so fake, so overwhelming and so depressing, that I think it’s important that we keep a few things in mind when we use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and more.  Some initial thoughts:

First, and most importantly: THIS.  IS.  NOT.  THE.  REAL.  WORLD.  Say it with me now: “Social media is not the real world.”  That happy, smiling family?  Probably upset as often as you.  That sweet looking couple?  They have struggles, too.  Social media allows for a very biased view of the world, where everyone looks shiny and happy and pretty.  It is so, so important to keep in mind that there is very little about social media that is real.  People choose to present a biased picture of themselves, one in which they seem perfect, even if they aren’t.  If you can keep that in mind while scrolling through your newsfeed, odds are good that you won’t be quite as miserable while you scroll.

Second, approach social media with a Dale Carnegie perspective.  I took a Dale Carnegie course about a decade ago and it changed my life.  One of the most important lessons I learned was this: No one wants to hear about you.  In the course of public discourse, instead of focusing obsessively on yourself, focus on other people and how you can make them feel good.  To that end, when you are on Facebook and Instagram, don’t scroll through your feed looking for likes and clicks on your own content.  Instead, approach social media from the prospective of how you can make someone else happy.  Like other people’s comments.  Try to be joyful and happy for their accomplishments.  Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to just be happy for other people.

And yes, I know that is easier said than done.

Third, stop comparing yourself.  Yes, this is directly related to item #1: If you use social media and think, “Why aren’t I having as good a time as Jimmy is?” you are going to make yourself depressed.  If you use it and think “Well, good for them, they are having fun!” you’ll be fine.  Remember, in this instance, treat social media like the real world: Do you run around, comparing yourself to random people that you see on the street?  I hope not.

Anything else to add?  Let us know in the comments!

Social media is (mostly) terrible for your mental health

Before I was a State Representative, my full time job was to work for the Greater Lehigh Valley Chamber of Commerce.  Among other things, I ran the Chamber’s social media, while also teaching small business owners how to make more money by using Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn.  I used to do presentations on a pretty regular basis, and I’d always joke that, when I first started using Facebook in college, I never thought that I’d be teaching people how to use it to make more money!

Yeah, about that: I also never thought it would make people more depressed, but here we are.

First, a disclaimer: I’m still social media obsessed.  Facebook & Twitter are my two vices, with a side of LinkedIn & Instagram.  That being said, there is ample evidence to show that social media is bad for your mental health.

Here’s what the research shows.

First, social media forces others to make unrealistic comparisons of themselves with others.  I always come back to my first days in college, being stuck in my dorm room, crying, and telling my Dad that I was the only one who felt this miserable.  His response stuck with me: Of course that’s what I thought!  I was literally the only one in my room!  Countless others were in their room, bawling their eyes out, and all I saw were people enjoying themselves.

Likewise, people only upload happy, smiling pictures and their successes to Facebook and Instagram.  News feeds can give you a distorted picture of reality and lead to the impression that everyone is much, much happier than you.  That’s because people only show their successes – not their failures.  But this comparison is terrible for your mental health.

Second, social media can make people depressed. Studies have shown that social networking makes people feel more depressed and have negative effects on self-esteem.  According to this 2017 study, more time on social media is correlated with higher levels of anxiety.  Perhaps most fascinating is this 2016 study:

Users who took a week-long break from the social media site were found to be more satisfied with life and rated their own well-being as higher.

Third, social networking doesn’t necessarily make anyone more social or feel more connected.  According to a study which appeared in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine, higher social media use led to increased perceived social isolation:

Young adults with high SMU [social media utilization] seem to feel more socially isolated than their counterparts with lower SMU. Future research should focus on determining directionality and elucidating reasons for these associations.

Oh, and all of this says nothing about cyber bullying, a major problem for today’s youth.

Not for nothing, but the worst network for your mental health?  According to this Time article, Instagram:

While the photo-based platform got points for self-expression and self-identity, it was also associated with high levels of anxiety, depression, bullying and FOMO, or the “fear of missing out.”

The evidence also makes it clear that this affect can be magnified in kids and teenagers, who are still developing their sense of selves and frequently have the greatest issues with self-confidence.

All of this being said, I don’t want to make it sound like social networking is all bad for your mental health.  As the same Time article I cited above notes, there are many positives:

There were certainly some benefits associated with social networking. All of the sites received positive scores for self-identity, self-expression, community building and emotional support, for example. YouTube also got high marks for bringing awareness of other people’s health experiences, for providing access to trustworthy health information and for decreasing respondents’ levels of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

Social networking is a tool: It can be used for good or for bad.  The problem, here, is becoming more apparent: Social media is stunting our social relationships, mental growth and ability to truly connect with each others.  While more research needs to be done, and more time is needed, it truly appears that these communication tools are having the reverse effect that they sought: They are making us more isolated and separated.  Considering their rapid and continued raise, this is a disturbing possibility.