How to look at social media and not want to throw your phone out a window

As I’ve written before, social media can be really, really, really bad for your mental health.  This is for a variety of reasons, including:

  • It inspires unrealistic comparisons between yourself and others.
  • It creates unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of how someone should be living their life.
  • It can lead to increased feelings of isolation.
  • It can inspire jealousy.

All of this, and more, are why I am going to be paying particular attention to research and experiences as they pertain to social media and mental health.  I swear, it’s almost like we need a primer on how to teach people to use social media at this point.  I’m looking at my kids – they are 6 and almost 5 – and terrified of the day that I will have to relent, give them a phone, and allow them to be exposed to the world that isn’t real.

Let me go back to what I just said: A primer.  Seriously, we need that when we go on social media!  The world that appears in our newsfeed can be so fake, so overwhelming and so depressing, that I think it’s important that we keep a few things in mind when we use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and more.  Some initial thoughts:

First, and most importantly: THIS.  IS.  NOT.  THE.  REAL.  WORLD.  Say it with me now: “Social media is not the real world.”  That happy, smiling family?  Probably upset as often as you.  That sweet looking couple?  They have struggles, too.  Social media allows for a very biased view of the world, where everyone looks shiny and happy and pretty.  It is so, so important to keep in mind that there is very little about social media that is real.  People choose to present a biased picture of themselves, one in which they seem perfect, even if they aren’t.  If you can keep that in mind while scrolling through your newsfeed, odds are good that you won’t be quite as miserable while you scroll.

Second, approach social media with a Dale Carnegie perspective.  I took a Dale Carnegie course about a decade ago and it changed my life.  One of the most important lessons I learned was this: No one wants to hear about you.  In the course of public discourse, instead of focusing obsessively on yourself, focus on other people and how you can make them feel good.  To that end, when you are on Facebook and Instagram, don’t scroll through your feed looking for likes and clicks on your own content.  Instead, approach social media from the prospective of how you can make someone else happy.  Like other people’s comments.  Try to be joyful and happy for their accomplishments.  Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to just be happy for other people.

And yes, I know that is easier said than done.

Third, stop comparing yourself.  Yes, this is directly related to item #1: If you use social media and think, “Why aren’t having as good a time as Jimmy is?” you are going to make yourself depressed.  If you use it and think “Well, good for them, they are having fun!” you’ll be fine.  Remember, in this instance, treat social media like the real world: Do you run around, comparing yourself to random people that you see on the street?  I hope not.

Anything else to add?  Let us know in the comments!

Google launches depression screening tool

I caught this over the weekend and found it to be very interesting: Apparently, Google has launched a tool that serves as a brief depression screening.

First, about the screening.  It is the PHQ-9, which is only nine statements.  It asks users to select the level of agreement with nine statements, ranging from “Not at all” to “Nearly every day.”  They include items like, “Little interest or pleasure in doing things” and “Feeling tired or having little energy.” The information can then be shared with the user’s health care provider and used to seek treatment.

This is noteworthy for many reasons.  The screening will pop up in the event that “depression related searches” are made, similar to the way that the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) pops up for suicide related searches.  Given the prevalence of Google in modern life, this can, hopefully, help make people more aware of mental illness and steer them to treatment options.  This is also particularly important, given the spike in suicide-related Google searches.  That spike, incidentally, is tied to 13 Reasons Why on Netflix, a show I suspect I will be writing about in the future.

Indeed, I’d argue that the most significant reason that the availability of the depression questionnaire is important is because of the major rate of spikes in suicide that we are seeing.  Suicides are rising across the board, but particularly for young girls aged 15-24, who have seen suicide rates increase to 40 year highs.  Obviously, this is the generation that is the most technologically dependent, so increasing their awareness about mental illness and treatment options can be a very, very good and healthy thing.

As good of a thing as this is – and it really, really is a good thing – depression screenings are not without their problems.  There are some studies which report that versions of the PHQ can demonstrate “poor specificity in detecting major depression” or false positives.

That being said, for the sake of argument, let’s assume the absolute worst about the PHQ-9: That it leads to an unacceptably high amount of false positives for depression.  Google’s use of it is still a great:

  • First, false positives is very different than false negatives.  A single accurate, positive test about the PHQ-9 can steer people into treatment and give them the help that they so desperately need.
  • Second, it can help move positive views of mental illness in a positive direction.  Too many people still view mental illness as a weakness or something that can simply be conquered by willpower.  That, of course, isn’t the case anymore than a broken arm can be healed by well-wishes.  Having a source viewed as positively as Google advertise depression screenings can, hopefully, convince people of the importance of seeking treatment for mental health.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Let us know in the comments!