“People who conquered depression and/or anxiety, what’s the #1 factor that helps you?”

As some of my prior entries have indicated, I’m a big fan of Reddit. If you use it the right way it can be hilarious, inspirational and adorable.

One of the more popular subreddits – and certainly one of my favorites – is AskReddit. In AskReddit, users can post a question to the Reddit community. Some of the questions are serious: “Why can’t you sleep tonight?” Some are hilarious: “You’re being interrogated and so far you’ve held strong. What song do they play on repeat that breaks you?”

And then there’s moments like these:

This was truly interesting. The top responses are largely along the lines of answers you might expect: Sleeping well at night, keep busy, stay away from social media (irony, right?), stop overthinking, etc.

I answered this question (surprise!), but I took my answer in a different direction. Here’s what I said:

I’m gonna spin this one on its head a bit. I think it’s important to address this answer to those of us who haven’t conquered depression or anxiety, and who never will.

Depression for some is a temporary condition as a result of a variety of factors, including social or cultural experiences, genetics, your upbringing or traumatic events. For people like this, time, therapy and/or medication – as well as lifestyle changes – can result in permanently defeating depression, and never seeing it again.

For other individuals – and people like me – it’s a permanent, chronic condition. Personally, I’m lucky – my ups are relatively long and my downs are manageable. For now. But, for people who will never truly rid themselves of depression or anxiety – who will experience it all their lives – it’s important to realize that this may be your world. Some people are cursed with physical disabilities which dramatically alter their lives and the way they experience it. For others, like us, it’s a mental disability.

What’s the #1 factor that helped me? I honestly think that one of them is this knowledge. The idea that I will never, truly be rid of depression. Why has this helped? It takes the pressure off. It makes me realize that I can lead a good life, even if this is always who I’ll be. That the “black dog” – as Churchill called it – will be a constant companion and challenge.

Second: To an extent, I have power over it. No, I don’t think I’ll ever be rid of depression. I don’t think I’ll ever be rid of the sinking feeling in my chest, the tension at the base of my neck, the imposture syndrome, the constant fear of losing everything and everyone I love. But I do have control. If I seize it, there are things I can do. That means self-care – therapy, medication, writing, working out being a type-A personality, etc. I accept that it has ruined other parts of my life, but strove to make me better in a variety of others.

Third: Accepting the positives of depression. It has made me constantly force myself to do something to improve myself, my life or those around me. It has made me tougher. It has given me a perspective and sense of empathy which I could never have imagined. And it has dramatically and positively impacted my career (I’m a State Representative in Pennsylvania, where I work largely on mental health issues – I also write and blog on the topic).

Yeah, leave it to a politician to not answer the question and answer it at the same time………..

My answer was long enough and pretty self-explanatory, but it’s worth noting again: Some people don’t “conquer” depression. They just learn to live with it, how to manage its ups and downs. I think that’s me. Once I accepted that – once I stopped kicking myself for feeling the way I did – it let go a lot of stress.

That being said, I don’t want to make it seem like my answer to the question was somehow crapping on the other ones. Less time on the internet, sleeping right, etc. – those are REALLY GOOD WAYS of beating depression. I just think that, for some of us, the idea of “conquering” depression is a bridge too far, sadly.

But that doesn’t mean it gets to run our life!

 

Mental health resources when you need advice, support or just to feel like you aren’t alone

A not-so-stunning mental health truism for you now: You don’t have all the answers. Neither do I. Neither do any of us. But together, we can maybe discover the truth, or at least lend support.

Depression, and mental illness in general, are fantastic tricksters. They make you think that you are alone, that you are unworthy of support and of love. That isn’t the case, of course. No matter who you are, you are intrinsically worthy of support, kindness and love. But depression makes you think otherwise – makes you think that you are weak and unworthy of all the good things in this world.

On moments where you feel that way, the best thing you can do is talk to someone who loves you or cares about you. Short of that – or in addition to it – there is the internet. I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence, but yes, the internet and some of its kinder corners can actually be incredibly valuable when it comes to finding support for your own issues or illnesses.

For example, have you been to The Mighty? It’s a website with forums and resources for a whole slew of topics – everything from disability to mental illness to other diseases. It’s a great community with good information, and more importantly, other people who are there for you and each other.

I’ve written in the past about Reddit, but that entry was more about how hilarious it can be and just make you smile. Reddit does have a dark side – but it also has a wonderfully supportive segments. Subreddits about depression, depression help or just for people looking for a self confidence boost are filled with supportive people.

If done right, mental health forums can be a great place to trade information, provide support and receive it. To that end, make sure to check out some of the better ones, including at PsychCentral, NAMI and Mental Health America.

Looking for real medical advice? Check out WebMD, The Mayo Clinic or the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. These websites have scientifically-based information which can help you get a better idea of your symptoms and where you can find help. And, speaking of finding help, you can always check out Psychology Today’s Therapist Finder.

Also, cute puppy videos. Cause why not.

Look, I’m sure this goes without saying, but the internet is not a cure all for your pain. But it can at least get you moving in the right direction and thinking about better days ahead.

So, yes, go on the internet. See what you can find to help you get through this dark moment. That’s one of the many good things you can find there!

I’m just gonna try to make you smile for a second: Here are seven subreddits you should look at

Does the internet help with depression in the long term? Social media definitely doesn’t.

But, that’s not to say that all social media is evil. Some of it is downright wonderful.

One of the most popular social media/internet forums is Reddit. Reddit, for those of you who don’t know, is one of the longest running internet communities of…anything. And I mean anything.

For those of you who want more info, this video is a good starting point:

Reddit is made up of a series of topic discussion boards, called subreddits, that are organized around certain topics.

Now, just to be clear, like all forms of the internet, Reddit can be absolutely, positively terrible. It’s comment can be insanely abusive and it’s sleuthing “abilities” have led mobs on wild vigilante quests. Thankfully, most of these uses are rare, and if you stick to the right subreddits, you can find some amazing content, guaranteed to make you smile.

So, even if you don’t have a Reddit account (you don’t need one), here are seven subreddits which will absolutely bring a smile to your face.

  1. BeforeNAfterAdoption: Pictures of kitties, puppies and the like, before they are adopted and after. They go from beaten and beaten down to happy and playful.
  2. Aww: It’s just cute things. It’s just cute, cuddly things that will make you go AWWWWWWW.
  3. DadReflexes: If you’re a Dad (or Mom, let’s be real), you know the meaning of this phrase – you get so good at watching your kid that you reflexively can move to keep them out of trouble. These are videos and GIFs which show prime examples of Dad Reflexess saving their kids from trouble.
  4. AnimalsBeingBros: Sounds like you need some more cute animal videos! Here’s animals being friends with each other. Wish humans could get along this well.
  5. Funny: Arguably the most self-descriptive subreddit name ever. Also, yes, it really is funny.
  6. PhotoshopBattles: People will upload great pictures for the purpose of being photoshopped into amazing situations. Examples include cats being kicked in the face by other cats, police officers with two foot differences between them, and more. Words aren’t going to do it justice. Go look!
  7. UpliftingNews: The news is terribly depressing. Here’s a thread of amazing, wonderful news which shows that maybe the world isn’t going to hell in a hand basket at quite the speed it seems like it is.

Any other good subreddits to share? Let us know in the comments below!