LGBT Marriage Equality Saved Lives

I’ve written extensively on the connection which society forces upon people who are LGBT and have a mental illness. To be clear, there is nothing inherently mentally ill about anyone who is LGBT: It is the societal pressures and discrimination faced by people who are gay or transgender which can give them a mental illness. This is a tragedy and a sin that we must address at a societal level.

If you’ve read this blog long enough, you know that one of the items I regularly harp on is the connection between mental illness and public policy. That connection was first driven home for me in a 2015 study which showed that members of the LGBTQ population had higher rates of mental illness and addiction in states where marriage equality wasn’t the law of the land than in states where it was legal. To be clear, this may be a classic case of correlation not equalling causation, as there may have been other reasons which LGBTQ people had better mental health in these states. However, it would certainly imply that there is a connection between mental illness and discrimination – a finding which was picked up in other countries, like Australia and New Zealand.

Finding that study was a critical moment for me, at least in terms of how I viewed mental health and public policy. Not only does public policy influence mental health, but it influences it in ways which we may not expect.

Well, here’s more proof: As noted in this Upworthy story, suicide attempts by LGBT youth dropped in states that legalized gay marriage and didn’t drop in states that didn’t. Similar findings were replicated in other countries that embraced marriage equality.

Again, the findings aren’t necessarily causational, but they would seem to pretty strongly imply a connection between societal stigma. Countless other studies have proven that treating any typically discriminated group with love, acceptance, and support can reduce their suicide rates. The legalization of gay marriage can make a massive difference here, as it ended a societally-enforced piece of discrimination.

Public policy and mental health matter, and matter deeply. We can, and should, examine all aspects of public policy through a mental health prism, as this connection exists in dozens of public policy spheres – everything from transportation to minimum wage to licensure laws and more.

The Mental Health of our LGBTQ Friends

We celebrated National Coming Out Day last Friday, and it gave me a few things to think about. As we all know, this world is hard enough. The times we live in are more interconnected, more stressful and more difficult than they ever have been, and I do think that the current state of our world is adding to our rising rates of mental illness and suicide.

So, imagine being someone who so many in society say is wrong.

I’m a straight, white man. This comes with many societal advantages. And let me be clear, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be a sexual orientation that is different.

But numbers don’t lie: It’s a harder life. A quick look at the statistics:

  • 28% of all LGBTQ youth said they felt depressed most of the time (in the past 30 days), compared to 12% of non-LGBTQ youth.
  • When compared to non-LGBTQ youth, LGBTQ youth are:
    • Twice as likely to feel suicidal.
    • Four times as likely to attempt suicide.
  • Over the course of their lifetime, 30-60% of LGBTQ people deal with depression – 1.5 – 2.5 times as straight individuals.
  • These issues are largely impacted by perceived support and social stigma.

So, what can we do to help individuals who identify as LGBTQ? A few things. First, remember, all language counts. If you show bias towards one group, individuals are far more likely to perceive you as biased towards another. Don’t be that person who uses bias and then jumps in with, “But I have a gay friend!” Don’t show bias in your language. Don’t use derogatory terms to discuss anyone. Language counts. Language reinforces stigma and stereotypes. Use appropriate pronouns. Use language that is kind and respectful. And just…don’t be an ass.

Second: Show your support. You don’t know who is struggling or who is desperate for someone to talk to. One study which was bouncing its way around my Facebook feed showed that an LGBT individual who found a supportive adult could see their risk of suicide drop by 40%. Be that one person. And be so explicitly. Yeah, post something to your Facebook page about how you support LGBT people and you’re a safe person to come out to. Is it gonna get anyone to come out to you? Maybe. But, more importantly, someone who is LGBTQ will see it, and will appreciate it. They will know that you value them as a person. That you believe in their dignity and basic human rights.

Third: Support policies which humanize LGBTQ people. In most places in Pennsylvania, you can be fired or evicted for being gay. That’s madness, and laws matter: When gay marriage was equal in only some states, studies showed that LGBTQ people had better mental health and lower rates of addiction when they lived in states where gay marriage was legal. Again: PUBLIC POLICY MATTERS. It makes a difference! Support your LGBT friends by supporting candidates for office who support human dignity for all.

Others who are better versed in this subject have written about it, and I encourage you to read more about how to help millions of Americans feel loved and safe. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be a minority in America – particularly today, given that the President is a racist, xenophobic monster who stirs up hatred at anyone he can find. That being said, I remain convinced – now more than ever – that this is the moment to show our friends – all of our friends – the love and respect they deserve. Be that person. Be one of the people who tells our friends that they are loved. You may save a life.

Six questions: An interview with Mia Siegert, author of Jerkbait

So, as my book is coming out on June 5, I want to kick off a new part of this blog. Countless authors have addressed the topic of mental health in young adult books before, and I wanted to get their perspective on the topic. To that end, I started reaching out to some of these authors.
The first to respond – thanks so much! – was Mia Siegert, who wrote Jerkbait. Here’s the blurb, and the interview:
Even though they’re identical, Tristan isn’t close to his twin Robbie at all—until Robbie tries to kill himself. Forced to share a room to prevent Robbie from hurting himself, the brothers begin to feel the weight of each other’s lives on the ice, and off. Tristan starts seeing his twin not as a hockey star whose shadow Tristan can’t escape, but a struggling gay teen terrified about coming out in the professional sports world. Robbie’s future in the NHL is plagued by anxiety and the mounting pressure from their dad, coach, and scouts, while Tristan desperately fights to create his own future, not as a hockey player but a musical theatre performer. As their season progresses and friends turn out to be enemies, Robbie finds solace in an online stranger known only as “Jimmy2416.” Between keeping Robbie’s secret and saving him from taking his life, Tristan is given the final call: sacrifice his dream for a brother he barely knows, or pursue his own path. How far is Robbie willing to go—and more importantly, how far is Tristan willing to go to help him?
1) Can you talk about your own experiences with mental health and how it impacted the book? This is the question that I always ask because it certainly impacted mine.
I’ve been open for many years about my struggles with depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I think by default, a lot transferred into JERKBAIT, especially as I used to be a teen athlete (show jumping) and my Olympic dreams were shattered with a career-ending injury. A lot of people unknowingly and often unintentionally glamorize mental illness–recently, a best seller made a statement about how people should date “broken” people because they were beautiful, and I threw up in my mouth a little. That sort of mentality prevents a person who’s struggling from getting better because they end up internalizing that thought–am I only beautiful if I’m broken? It’s not helpful.
A huge part of writing JERKBAIT was to be as authentic as possible and show that no, mental illness is not something to romanticize. It’s hell. It’s something that I think I’ll always personally struggle with although I’m not ashamed of it. I actively promote discussion of mental illness to fight the stigma.
 
2) Your book obviously deals with sexual orientation and sports. How much instruction did you get from the experience of real life athletes like Michael Sam and Jason Collins?
When I was competing, I was in a very gay-friendly sport (emphasis on that as the other letters connected in the LGBTQ+ community were not particularly welcome, and I did experience a lot of this). In JERKBAIT’s process and completion, I partnered with You Can Play–a nonprofit to support the treatment and rights of LGBTQ+ athletes. For all 31 teams in the NHL, there is at least one spokesperson for YCP. Being in the community, I’ve faced a lot of hostility over the years so it was an unfortunate reality.
 
3) Whether intentional or not, Jerkbait seems to address the perpetual nature vs. nurture debate of the impact of genetics and depression. Did you mean to do that?
Yes, very intentional. I also really wanted to discuss toxic masculinity, especially in sports. One could easily say that the toxic environment Robbie and Tristan experience on a daily basis from their parents to their coach to their peers would affect depression and anxiety–that’s absolutely correct. But also, without question, genetics play a role. Even if there was less pressure on the Betterby twins, I think they would still have depression–they would be able to manage it better. Without giving away spoilers, the end of JERKBAIT goes into this a bit.
 
4) I ask this question because it seems to clearly come across in this book: The notion that societal pressure to succeed is (literally) killing today’s teens. How much of an impact do you think society is having on today’s youth and the recent spike in depression, and what can teens do to mitigate that pain?
Without question, the high pressure is contributing to youth (and also young adults). There are pressures that exist currently that weren’t an issue before, such as not being able to survive (literally) because of the GOP removing resources. Three weeks ago, a person on FB I thought I was friends with mocked the idea of a “Cry Closet”–literally a small room in a library that was developed so that people, if overwhelmed, could go somewhere for a few minutes, recollect, and then go on with their day successfully. Their suggestion for solving the problem of these “wimps” was “school shootings.” I’m not joking. When I said it was a terrible joke, they replied saying dead kids were preferable to wimpy kids (aka anyone who’s looking for help). The people speaking and agreeing with it were all in their 60s and up.
The problem isn’t with youth today. The problem is that older generations are preventing people from getting help, literally. For example, if you make too much for medicaid but don’t make a “minimum wage,” you are ineligible for tax credits for healthcare. Teens and even younger kids see their parents struggle to make ends meet and survive and find a way for their kids to have a better life–it feels overwhelming and impossible. Even as an adult, I struggle with this daily.
 
5) What’s your advice to teens who have experiences like Robbie? How can they cope when their personal and family lives are as bleak as his get?
If possible, go to a nonprofit (or school counselor) for help. Nonprofits like Jewish Family Services might have a waitlist, but there are trained professionals who can work with budgets (sometimes seeing people for free) to help. There’s a stigma against getting help, and most don’t know about these resources. There are also other organizations like The Trevor Project that are absolutely superb.
Also, I want teens to know that if they seek counseling, it is confidential. Please talk to someone if at all possible. And also, less time on social media. It can be tied to so much drama. I’m a writer so I’m bias but I strongly encourage spending time each week (if not 15 mins/day) reading for pleasure. A book is a great way to escape and refresh.
 
6) Just as importantly: What’s your advice for teens like Tristian, whose families are collapsing around them and who have less-than-stellar family support when they need it most?

About the same sort of feedback I’d give for Robbie, honestly. Mental illness is something that affects many people. It doesn’t discriminate. Counselors will focus on different things for each person’s needs.

If young adult books that deal with depression, anxiety and mental health are your thing, than I encourage you to check out my YA/Sci Fi book, Redemption, coming out on June 5.