My understanding of Thanksgiving has always been to try and take a step backwards and find the things for which I am grateful: Family, friends, food and safety. It’s a moment where you are supposed to be filled with gratitude.
Of course, if depression is clouding up your life, that can be a difficult experience – to put it mildly.
One of the worst things about depression is that it not only makes you feel sad, but it staves your sense of joy. When you are depressed, you cannot enjoy things. You cannot find the things to be grateful for – your mind is just clouded with sadness and pain. That, of course, is awful on every level.
According to an article from Psychology Today, gratitude can make you feel better:
Scientists say that these techniques shift our thinking from negative outcomes to positive ones, elicit a surge of feel good hormones like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, and build enduring personal connections.
Another article, this one from Harvard, notes that there is actual science behind this concept, and that multiple experiments have shown that individuals who actually took the time to decide, discuss or write down things that they were grateful for actually felt better and more optimistic about their lives after doing so.
All of this being said – I’ve been there. I get it. When you are in a hole so deep that you cannot see any light, writing down things for which you are grateful can be a challenge…to put it mildly.
If that’s where you are right now, it’s okay. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel guilty and don’t beat yourself up. That’s a pain which millions of others can share with you.
Instead, my advice to you is this: Try to take a step backwards.
If you are reading this, you’re in better shape than large swaths of humanity. You’re able to read and access the internet. Hopefully, you’re at home now, safe and secure, able to access the basic necessities of life. I hope you are warm and comfortable. You’re able to eat and drink whenever you want. I mean, according to the World Health Organization, 785 million people don’t even have access to basic drinking water service. If you are reading this, that almost certainly isn’t you.
Folks, one of the hardest things to remember – particularly if you are one of the 1 in 5 Americans who has a mental illness – is just how lucky you truly are. Start at the basics, and I mean the basics. The food in your stomach. The clothing on your back. And try to remember that there are billions who aren’t as lucky as all of us are.
Whatever our struggles, whatever your pain, I guarantee you are more fortunate than hundreds of millions. Start from there. Use that as the building block and move upwards. Concentrate on the gratitude and joy you’ve gotten from the smallest moments: The quick laugh with a coworker who likes you. The likes on your Facebook status. You can find joy in even the smallest of moments, and sometimes, that’s enough.
To be clear: I’m not an idiot and I’m not pollyanic. A Facebook like or a shared smile with a stranger will not cure your depression. It will not make you whole. But it may take away your pain, if only for a moment. It may help you regain a sense of control over your own mind, something that is absolutely critical when we are battling our own demons. To that end, try to balance your pain-filled moments with the good ones. Write down what you are grateful for. You may be surprised with how it makes you feel.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you are able to celebrate and enjoy it!